Emmanuel College Warrnambool eNewsletter

Welcome to Words for Wellbeing

Welcome to your fortnightly Wellbeing newsletter. You’ll find new information to enhance your health and wellness to keep you Fit4Life. These will include shining a spotlight on signature character strengths; top tips from the science of wellbeing; Conversations on the Couch with our Emmanuel family; and, loads more. We hope you enjoy them and we’re happy to take requests if there’s something in the wellbeing realm you’d love to learn more about.

As we come to the end of another term, we wish you a restful and safe holiday, as we send you off with some more wonderful self-care tools for your toolkits.

Please enjoy everything on offer in this edition of Words for Wellbeing.

Top 4 Ways to Deal With Stress

From positivepsychology.com

Here is a list of ways to help deal with stress.

Boundaries

One of the first steps toward coping with stress and anxiety is to put yourself first. You need to get enough sleep, eat healthily, do exercise, take time to recharge, have uninterrupted time to work, and have time to socialize. Without boundaries, you won’t be able to implement any of the other treatments.

To be able to do all of these things, you need to have boundaries. If you do not have enough time available to take on another task, learn to say ‘No’ or delegate the task to someone else.

You must make time for yourself to do things that you like. Ensure you are in bed at a certain time so that you can get enough sleep. Without boundaries, you won’t have the space to do the necessary muscle relaxation techniques described below or take a ‘breather’ when you’ve had a difficult work week.

Learn to recognise signs of anxiety

The next step is to identify how anxiety and stress manifest in your life. For example, some people have trouble sleeping when they are stressed out, whereas others might feel irritable.

Monitoring these symptoms is difficult because you need to be aware of what to look for. However, developing this awareness is very useful because it can help you implement supportive strategies before your anxiety becomes overwhelming and destructive.

Here are some ways to monitor signs of anxiety:

Look at your behavior in the past few months and think back to times when you felt very stressed. Can you find any examples of your behavior that repeatedly appear during this period?
Keep a journal for a few weeks where you track how you feel, your level of anxiety, and any other behaviors that you think might be informative, such as sleep, eating, mood, energy, your thoughts, amount of time spent working, and motivation.
Ask your parents, family, and friends if they are able to tell when you are stressed out or anxious.

When you know how your anxiety manifests, then you can take steps to tackle these symptoms. For example, if you struggle to focus, then you can consider meditation techniques. If you feel tense, then consider muscle relaxation techniques.

Muscle relaxation techniques

Muscle relaxation techniques can be very useful at reducing anxiety. When feeling anxious, do the following exercise:

Sitting or lying down, focus on isolating different muscles.
Starting with one set of muscles, like your shoulders, clench these muscles and then release them.
Work through the different groups of muscles, one after the other, clenching and then releasing the muscle group completely.

To be effective, these techniques should be practiced often, even in times when you are not feeling stress.

Mindfulness techniques

Techniques aimed at developing mindfulness are very effective at treating anxiety and stress (Kushner & Marnocha, 2008).

Some examples of these techniques include:

In each of these techniques, you will learn how to turn your attention inward, calm your mind by reducing the effect of distracting thoughts, and consequently direct your thoughts constructively.

Some mindfulness techniques require more time than others. For example, a body scan typically only takes three minutes, whereas yoga can last between 20 and 90 minutes. Consequently, some of these techniques are more easily implemented in different contexts. For example, body scans and relaxation exercises can be used at work or in any quiet place, like a parked car. Yoga, however, needs more physical space.

Mindfulness techniques are difficult to master and require regular exercise; knowing this, it’s important not to feel disheartened if it feels impossible. Make sure to prioritize time and space for regular practice. The effects are not immediate, but it will get easier with practice.

A letter to a 21st Century teen: 10 things I want you to know by Maggie Dent - part II

POSTED ON JUNE 27, 2019

Dear Teen,

There are so many doomsayers and negative voices speaking despairingly about what’s wrong with being you (a teen) today. That’s why I’m writing this letter: to reassure you that even though the world has changed a lot over the last 20 years, what you need to thrive and grow hasn’t really changed at all.

However, the statistics are pretty clear that more and more children and teens are struggling with anxiety, depression and a deep sense of apathy about the world that we grown-ups have created for you to inherit. I am really sorry about that.

I worked closely with teens in high schools and as a full-time counsellor and I know that when adolescents find people who genuinely care – who absolutely respect the unique dynamics of this enormous stage of life transition and who commit to walking beside them with unconditional positive regard – they navigate this ancient journey much better, for themselves and their friends.

So I am writing this letter to all of you who are on this bumpy ride to adulthood – and I do ask that you please read it to the end as it’s going to be a bit long. I’m going to explore for you some key concepts and ideas that may help you when things get wobbly, as they often do during this incredibly tumultuous time of your life.

Here is Part II - you can find the first half in edition 8 of Words for Wellbeing.

Find your lighthouse.

Every teen needs to have a significant adult ally who is not their mum and dad – I call them ‘lighthouses’. Sometimes it can be a teacher or a coach, an aunt or uncle, a neighbour, a family friend, a friend’s mum or dad – you just need to have somebody who genuinely cares about you and believes in you.

What is interesting is that so often teens who have had a wonderful lighthouse, automatically want to be a lighthouse for another teen in the future.

Be a good friend.

Watching out for your friends will help you become a more caring human being. Tell your friends that you care about them often and that you have got their back.

When teens feel emotionally flat they can stop connecting with their friends and the outside world and this can be a very dark place for them to be. It’s always ok to ask your friend “are you ok?” and the simple act of just listening, being there and letting them cry with you is often enough. Remember, though, if you fear for a friend’s safety, you may need to seek help from a trusted adult (and please check out the support services link at the bottom of this article too for some help with that).

Sometimes you or your friend might muck up and hurt each other’s feelings. We’re all human after all! Just know that you can always apologise and (if you’re the one being apologised to) it’s OK to forgive and forget.

Friendships take work – we have to tend them carefully like gardens. So be loyal and kind and respectful of your friends. Also, know that sometimes friends outgrow each other and you might find different interests, and that’s OK too.

Make sure you are not just there for the good times – turn up when life gives them a really big smack … and it will.

When I was teaching, I watched 14-year-old friends share the final weeks of one of their best friend’s life in such a powerful, passionate and real way. The boy who was dying even asked to have his coffin delivered to his home in the weeks before he died so that he could watch his friends draw pictures and write messages on it. Teens are capable of big stuff like this.

Embrace the gifts that failure can give.

No seriously failure really can be a gift! If you fail a significant test at school it will tell you that you have not prepared enough, or that you do not have the required level of understanding and you can go and ask a teacher for help. On another level, the failure might be suggesting to you that this won’t be something you will pursue for the rest of your life.

Yup, it feels awful when we fail and if we can support our friends when they fail, that can be really helpful. So many elite athletes and famous people have failed big time in their lives before they brushed the dust off, got back up and had another go.

Failure is not always pleasant, and it is not a true indicator of who you are or the depth of your character. It is just something that happens and it will happen when you’re a grown-up too.

What’s that saying? “If you’re not failing then you’re not even trying”. That is so true.

Also please keep in mind that your final marks at the end of your final year of school do not define who you are or who you could be. There are many paths to the same destination.

Your parents really love you.

No, really they do!

There will be times that you will have significant conflict with your parents and you may even shout at each other and slam doors.

The tug and pull of independence is as ancient as the beginning of time.

Parents want to keep you safe and away from harm and you want to spread your wings and fly away.

I believe every parent is doing the best job they can with the skills they have and parenting is a really difficult task in a world that is constantly changing… and because they really love you.

In my counselling work over the years I have shared the deep and profound pain of parents who have lost a child to suicide. They would have willingly given up their own life to save the child.

Seriously your parents really do love you no matter how tough the going gets. If you are struggling please ask for their help. Please. And if for whatever reason you can’t go to your parent/s, please ask another adult you can trust. We all want you to get through to adulthood.

You are not your grades.

There are a lot of grown-ups who put pressure on teens about what their school grades are and what they are planning to do with their lives, especially what career pathway they are choosing.

For so many of you, getting through tomorrow is often your number one goal.

For those of you who have a dream – hold onto it tightly and don’t let any grown-up steal it or crush it!

For those of you who aren’t sure I am going to give you another suggestion about what to do with your life to keep in the back of your mind.

Quite simply aim to make the world a better place in some small way. See what you can in order to do that every day.

You could pick up some litter, you could help an elderly person with their shopping, or make your mum a cup of tea or you could stop teasing your little sister just for a day.

Every time you do something to help someone else or to help our planet, you will make yourself feel better and more worthwhile. It is actually that simple.

So dear teen, these years of transformation and change will have many wobbly times where you will find yourself confused and a bit lost.

It’s really important to know that bad things happen to good people – everything is not your fault. With no rhyme or reason, life can just deliver some very hard things to us sometimes.

You are not alone – it’s happening to so many on this bumpy ride! Search for the good grown-ups who understand and who can hold a safe base for you to fall upon.

Many of us remember those years and we found it tough too. I am gifting you a copy of an amazing poem, Desiderata by Max Ehrmann because it was a beacon of hope in my dark teen years and it is still relevant today. Download that here and if you can print it out at A4 or A3, it’s great to stick up in your bedroom or behind the loo door.

As your brain matures, you’ll see there are far more good grown-ups in the world than you might believe. Again, I want to emphasise if you’re worried about a friend be bold and speak to a lighthouse because sometimes teens can be really struggling not just wobbling, and seeking help may save their lives.

Things will gradually get better as you get closer to 20 and by 25 so much of the internal angst you may feel now will have settled and you’ll be making fantastic choices about your own life in a responsible way.

Be mindful of ignoring the negative messages about being a teenager from those who have a poor understanding of the unique potential for goodness and hope that lies within every teenager’s heart.

Spread those wings and fly. You’ve got this.

If this article raises any concerns for you, please contact Headspace, Lifeline (call 13 11 14 or visit lifeline.org.au), Kids Helpline or Beyond Blue.

Desiderata.pdf

Supporting A Friend When They Have Cancer

Everything is ticking along as normal, then boom, the world is tipped upside down. Someone you know – a best friend, school friend, boyfriend, girlfriend, teammate, housemate, work friend, Facebook friend – has cancer. Talk about unexpected. Being the friend of someone who has or has had cancer is not always easy. It can be scary and confusing and throw you way out of your comfort zone. But your friend might need people around them now more than ever.

CanTeen is a wonderful organisation supporting young people living with cancer and Wellbeing will soon be stocked with hard copies of several helpful informational booklets that help us all understand cancer and how it impacts our lives a little better, regardless of whether it's a friend, family member or ourselves going through it.

We know that our Year nine community may be needing some answers to questions and some help with coping at the moment.

This booklet is here to help you understand that a friend with cancer is still your friend… and that they will find it helpful just to have you there with them through the ups and downs. So just by showing that you care, you’re already awesome!

Read ‘A guide to supporting your friend when they have cancer‘ online now

CanTeen

#SAYNOTOVAPING

The use of e-cigarettes among young people was becoming a growing concern on the Central Coast and indeed across all of Australia. That’s why they’ve launched their Say No to Vaping campaign. The campaign aims to raise awareness of the health risks young people are exposing themselves to by using electronic cigarettes (e-cigarettes).

E-cigarettes are not only addictive, but also contain or produce harmful chemicals and toxins that can cause some of the same serious health problems as smoking tobacco. The nicotine found in them is highly addictive and can affect brain development in teens, impacting their learning, concentration and mood, causing anxiety and depression. Despite this, data on teenage vaping in Australia in 2017 indicated one in five students aged 16 to 17 had used an e-cigarette, while nearly one in 10 students aged 12 to 15 had used one.

Say No to Vaping aims to debunk some of the myths around vaping and empower teens to make informed decisions about whether they should vape. We have produced a number of materials you can use, including animations, social media tiles and printable posters, as well as FAQs and mythbusters. You can download the resources below.

https://www.healthpromotion.com.au/saynotovaping/

We'll also be sharing these resources in future editions of Words for Wellbeing.

Learning Diversity Fornightly Column

Inclusive Education: Essential for some, but good for ALL!

Have you heard of the incredible new national autism helpline, Autism Connect? Well now you have!

Mental Health First Aid Tips

When our world changes quickly and suddenly because of things like COVID-19, it is common to experience changes in our thoughts, feelings and behaviors. Feelings of anxiety, fear or worry are typical in stressful situations.

Typical reactions include:

Feeling stressed or overwhelmed, frustrated or angry, worried or anxious
Feeling restless, agitated, on ‘high alert’ or unable to calm down
Being teary, sad, fatigued or tired, losing interest in usually enjoyable activities or finding it difficult to feel happy
Worrying about going to public spaces, becoming unwell or contracting germs
Constantly thinking about the situation, unable to move on or think about much else
Experiencing physical symptoms such as increased fatigue or other uncomfortable sensations

Everyone reacts differently to stressful situations, so you should not expect any specific reaction. Still, take a few moments to talk with the teens in your life about how they are feeling and what may help them during this difficult time.

Remind them that all of these thoughts and feelings are common right now, and discuss simple self-care strategies that will help manage symptoms of anxiety and depression.

Here are a few tips for mental health and coping from teen Mental Health First Aid:

Maintain a daily routine with consistent sleep, activity and study patterns.
Stay connected with others, and try to find moments of humor.
Talk to people you feel comfortable with about your feelings or worries, then give yourself permission to stop worrying.
Eat breakfast every morning, plus snacks and meals at regular times throughout the day.
Limit coffee or energy drinks, as these will increase feelings of anxiety and make it difficult to relax.
Look for patterns or be aware of situations that make you feel particularly worried or anxious. When you’re in these situations, try relaxation or distraction techniques or ask a family member or friend to help.
Relieve times of high anxiety with physical activity; engage in regular aerobic exercise (e.g., walk, jog, yoga, dance).
Limit the amount of time you spend talking about or watching/listening to news media or social media if you are finding information about the COVID-19 situation overwhelming or distressing.
Do hobbies or activities that you enjoy, calm you down or focus your mind and body. These could be arts and crafts, physical activity, listening to music, reading, journaling, watching TV or movies, or chatting with friends by phone, videoconference or text.
Understand that the people around you are probably also finding this situation stressful, and they might also be having difficulty controlling their emotions. Try to resolve conflict.
If you continue to feel overwhelmed, out of control or unable to calm down after a period of weeks, seek help from a mental health professional.
Take time for yourself.
Be kind to yourself and each other. We’ll work through this together.

Screen Time: Making Healthy Choices

British journalist Johann Hari, author of Lost Connections, discusses the available research into the underlying causes of addiction and concludes, rather brilliantly, that the opposite of addiction is not sobriety, it’s connection. His statement echoes a theme that many 21st Century addiction specialists have espoused for years — that addiction is not about pleasure seeking, it’s about the inability to connect in healthy ways with other human beings. In other words, addiction is not a substance disorder, it’s a social disorder.

Addiction is not only reserved for alcohol and other substances, but as we're all becoming well aware, now includes things like technology and our devices.

In terms of 'disconnecting' us, can you imagine a bigger barrier than the physical presence of a screen?

When was the last time you sat at home or in a restaurant and looked at all of the groups of people around you? How many of them were communicating openly? How many of them were separated by their phones?

It's interesting to simply observe and then reflect on your own device use? Could it be a barrier preventing you from connecting to your loved ones?

An excellent way of looking at addiction and starting a converation within your home is in the video below.

In it we can understand the early pleasures and benefits from engaging in something like screen time, an excellent provider of dopamine - our reward neurochemical, but we can then see how more and more of the same thing begins to create dopamine deficits and we begin to suffer.

It's great imagery for us to have in the back of minds. When we begin to 'need' something, and more and more of that thing begins to make us feel worse instead of better, perhaps we need to then consider safely reducing our use. That might entail taking a big break from it or setting some time limited boundaries for yourself so that you can return to an amount of usage that once again brings you joy.

If you are concerned that you or someone you love won't be able to reduce yours or their technology use on your own, why not come and have a chat to Wellbeing. We'd love to help.

First Job, Second Education: Why Your Teenager Needs a Job

https://lindastade.com/teen-jobs/

Posted by Linda Stade | Feb 4, 2017 | Parenting |

I got my first proper holiday job at 14. It was in the women’s clothing department of a store in the small town where I lived. I’m sure it was illegal to employ a 14-year-old in Australia, but nobody seemed to care, least of all me. I loved it. I loved the other staff, I loved the money and most of all, I loved feeling grown-up.

I’ve had worse jobs since then, mainly in filthy bars in faraway countries, and I’ve had better jobs, but that is the one I remember most fondly. It was the education I got when I wasn’t at school. I think most kids would benefit from a part-time job while they’re at school.

I know many parents want to preserve their kids’ time for homework, study, and co-curricular activities. I get their concerns. Kids are busy. However, the soft skills they learn in a job are as important as the skills they learn at school.

Yes, school will teach you Physics and Economics and Literature, but a job will teach you punctuality, interpersonal skills, time management and the art of being reliable. These are not only useful in the general business of being a human, but they are also highly marketable in the future.

A boss is an adult who sees you as an employee first and an adolescent second. Parents and teachers treat kids like….kids. It’s our job to look after them and love them. Not so an employer. An employer has expectations and demands and rules. And low and behold, your child will find they are not central to their universe.

Bosses get cross when things go badly, they don’t care that you’re having a down day and they are not going to tolerate an iPhone stealing your attention. That said, they also have an opportunity to mentor, teach and be another significant adult in a teenager’s life.

I like the idea of kids getting dirty jobs. They are a great equaliser and they teach empathy. Nobody should be above flipping burgers or cleaning up after others. There is a perspective that comes with scraping trodden-in gum off a shop floor, that a lot of life will not provide.

The more privileged a child, the less glamorous their job should be. Richard Branson sold Christmas trees as a kid. Dealing with customers and showing respect when you’re screaming inside is the stuff character is made of.

It is good for a child’s sense of place in the wider world to have a job. It shows them that we all have a role to play and that we all have an important niche. That sense of belonging to something bigger than themselves contributes to a child’s resilience. It also gives them confidence, a sense of responsibility and independence.

They meet people and make friends outside of school. That variety in friendship groups can be vital. When kids are connected 7 hours a day to their school friends in real-time and then via technology outside of school, friendship issues can be all-encompassing. If there are issues in those relationships, they are made less dramatic when they have friends in other contexts.

We are getting closer and closer to a cash-free economy. Over 50% of all transactions in Australia are done by card or app. The 2015 Westpac Cash Free Report says that we could be cash-free as soon as 2022. However, a society without cash makes it harder to teach kids the value of money. You know what does teach them the value of money? Getting a job!

If a child has to work for five hours to afford a new shirt or a computer game, they quickly see the value of money. Not only does a job give a teen money to buy the things they want, it is also the beginning of an education in managing their own finances.

Having a job forces a teenager to manage their time effectively. This might be why a US Bureau of Labor Statistics study found that students who worked 10 hours a week achieved higher grades than those who did not. Students who worked 20 hours achieved poorer grades. It makes sense. 10 hours is enough to make you organise your time and get things done. More than that forces work to compete with study instead of complimenting it. The time spent in employment also avoids time spent available for high-risk behaviours.

I remember my first pay packet. It was in the days when you lined up to see the paymaster and you got cash in an envelope. I viewed it with pride and as an accomplishment. True, after work I accidentally left it in a phone box and never saw it again, but…you get the point.

It’s about independence and it’s a rite of passage. So many rites of passage have been lost. We have removed a lot of risk from kids’ lives; we don’t let them ride their bikes to school or go into city centres alone. Work allows kids to take a tangible step up from child to adulthood in a safe environment. They have to fix problems without the help of parents or teachers and they are accountable.

Although there are many benefits to working for teenagers, they are still young and they will need support and guidance in managing themselves, their time and the potential issues that might arise via their interactions with others.

SO HOW CAN YOU SUPPORT YOUR CHILD IN THIS LEARNING?

Create a schedule with your teen so that the expectations of home, school and work can all be met without undue stress. Ensure that family time is part of that schedule. That time for connection is vital and can get lost in the business of everything else.
Place boundaries around what earning can be spent on. Yes, it is their money, but they are still expected to conform to family values and standards. I would also set a percentage for savings. Even if this is minimal, it helps to create a healthy habit for the future.
Keep in contact with the school. If working is adversely affecting study, hours may need to be adjusted. That will teach your child that we all have limits on what we can achieve in a week. It also will emphasise for them that a process of prioritising is essential.
Debrief about work with your child. What are the best and worst parts of their role? What went really well, what went badly? Help them problem solve. This is a great opportunity to teach them how to deal with difficult people and awkward situations. If appropriate, share some of the problems you have at your work and explain how you deal with them. This is important role modelling and they can use the input in their own interactions.
Be encouraging and supportive. This is a rite of passage, a step into the adult world. Enjoy it with them!

Linda Stade has worked in various teaching and management roles in education for twenty-eight years. She has worked in government and private schools, country and city, single-sex and co-ed. Currently, she is a writer, speaker, and consultant in Western Australia.

Self Care with Headspace

Mindfulness @ Rice

Fit4Life, Wellbeing @ Emmanuel College

Your 2021 Fit4Life Wellbeing Team are, from left to right, Jodie Fleming (School Psychologist), Rachele Sloane (Wellbeing coordinator), Claire Wrigley (Assistant Principal Students Wellbeing), Tracey van Rooy (Student Wellbeing Intake Officer). You can look forward to meeting us all through the Conversations on the Couch in coming editions, or, in person anytime!

We have moved but we are still located on McAuley campus. You’ll now find us upstairs in the Convent, at the end of the Year 7 corridor, directly above the Heritage room.

Can’t follow my instructions? Here are some videos coming from The Stage, the front office, and from the Year 7 corridor. Simply click on the links for a speedy tour.

From the Front Office

From the Stage

From the Year 7 corridor

We also have spaces on Rice and Goold campuses. Teachers, parents and guardians and students are all able to refer students to us. If you'd like to catch up, simply email us at wellbeing@emmanuel.vic.edu.au

Fit Bits

Our weekly Fit Bits links are designed to energise, motivate and encourage us to take brain breaks and mindful moments throughout each day for our minds and our bodies.

Energisers:

Brain Breaks:

Mindful Moments:

Motivational Music:

We hope you’ve found something useful in this edition of Words for Wellbeing.

Our past editions of Words for Wellbeing contain useful reminders about how to cope with the changes that stage three lockdown brings. You’ll find all of our past editions online - just follow this link and enter Words for Wellbeing in the search bar:

Library Catalogue

Stay tuned for our next edition of Words for Wellbeing!

In the meantime, if you need to contact Wellbeing, please email us at wellbeing@emmanuel.vic.edu.au to organise a catch up or just to check in or offer us any suggestions or feedback on our Words for Wellbeing.

Stay safe and well everyone.

Love from your Wellbeing Team

Email us!

Words for Wellbeing - Edition 9 - June 24, 2021