Words for Wellbeing - Edition 7 - May 27, 2021

Welcome to Words for Wellbeing

Welcome to your fortnightly Wellbeing newsletter. You’ll find new information to enhance your health and wellness to keep you Fit4Life. These will include shining a spotlight on signature character strengths; top tips from the science of wellbeing; Conversations on the Couch with our Emmanuel family; and, loads more. We hope you enjoy them and we’re happy to take requests if there’s something in the wellbeing realm you’d love to learn more about.

Narragunnawali (pronounced narra-gunna-wally) is a word from the language of the Ngunnawal people, Traditional Owners of the land on which Reconciliation Australia’s Canberra office is located, meaning alive, wellbeing, coming together and peace.

Today we have a special National Sorry Day and Reconciliation Week edition of Words for Wellbeing, beginning with a prayer from the St Vincent de Paul Society.

Prayer of Acknowledgement

Holy spirit, we invoke your blessing on this country and on us as we gather today. We acknowledge the Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Elders of this place, both past and present, and the continued cultural and spiritual connection to the lands and waters.

We also also acknowledge that our forebears came into these sacred spaces, changing forever an older way of life.

Bless our Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander family. Help us to join our hands and hearts together. Help us to heal one another and the land, so that our lives may flow with harmony and that we may live with love and deep respect. Amen.

Please enjoy everything on offer in this edition of Words for Wellbeing.

National Sorry Day May 26th

Our Emmanuel community have been busy at lunchtimes and recesses making flowers for the special commemorative display that can be viewed at the Lighthouse Theatre from May 26th til June 3rd.

National Reconciliation Week May 27 - June 3

At its heart, reconciliation is about strengthening relationships between Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples and non-Indigenous peoples, for the benefit of all Australians.

“… A reconciled Australia is one where our rights as First Australians are not just respected but championed in all the places that matter …”
Kirstie Parker – Board Member, Reconciliation Australia

For Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples, Australia’s colonial history is characterised by devastating land dispossession, violence, and racism. Over the last half-century, however, many significant steps towards reconciliation have been taken.

Reconciliation is an ongoing journey that reminds us that while generations of Australians have fought hard for meaningful change, future gains are likely to take just as much, if not more, effort.

In a just, equitable and reconciled Australia, Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander children will have the same life chances and choices as non-Indigenous children, and the length and quality of a person’s life will not be determined by their racial background.

“Reconciliation isn’t a single moment or place in time. It’s lots of small, consistent steps, some big strides, and sometimes unfortunate backwards steps …”
Karen Mundine – Chief Executive Officer, Reconciliation Australia

To commemorate National Sorry Day and Reconciliation week, we have some special articles to share highlighting the lives and achievements from our local community. You can also download this image and Colour for Reconciliation.

Learning Diversity Fornightly Column

Inclusive Education: Essential for some, but good for ALL!

Conversation on the Couch with Amelia Bell

Year 11 student Amelia Bell is making a name for herself in the local art scene with her beautiful paintings that tell stories of family, community and the Gunditjmara – Maar land we live on.

Amelia was commissioned by Principal Peter Morgan to design window decals for the new Emmanuel College Library at the McAuley Campus and these will also be used on the windows that will eventually replace classroom corridor walls.

Amelia explained that her design for the window decals was a departure from her usual medium of paint. “This was my first digital artwork,” said Amelia and this is definitely a path I would like to explore further.”

“The larger circles in the design, says Amelia, “represent groups of people coming together in a safe space where everyone is free to learn and the smaller circles represent the individuals that make up our College community.”

Amelia’s interest in art began to develop in Year 7 and Dad, Shane along with her grandmother have been her main storytelling mentors.

Amelia has received several commissions and sold paintings to local restaurants along with having works in the Provincial in Ballarat. Exhibiting a special collection of her work (entitled The Formation of Gunditjmara Country) as part of the Port Fairy Winter Weekends has been a highlight, with all works selling. A short video made by Winter Weekends about Amelia and her art for this event attracted much attention.

Promoting her artwork through social media, including Facebook and Instagram, Amelia is keen to build a website in future.

Interestingly, Amelia does not study visual arts at school as she wants to keep her art as a form of escapism. “Creating art makes me feel calm and I think it’s good for mental health. Right now, it’s something I want to keep for myself as an interest.”

We congratulate Amelia on her design and look forward to seeing more work by this emerging young artist as she grows and explores her art and culture.

You can find Amelia on Facebook and Instagram @ameliabell_art

Please enjoy our Conversation on the Couch with Amelia:

Which is worse, failing or never trying?

Probably never trying as at least with failing you have given it a try, even if it's maybe not in your comfort zone. 

If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?

My paintings or friends. 

If you could offer your fifteen-year-old self one piece of advice, what would it be?

That everything will work out. 

When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing?

Never really noticed till now!

What’s something you know you do differently than most people?

My paintings.

At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive?

Summer. 

We learn from our mistakes, yet we’re always so afraid to make one. Where is this true for you? And which mistakes do you wish we would all stop making?

Mistakes are what we learn from the best yet we are too afraid to make the mistakes. So I wish that would be stopped and making mistakes would be ok. 

Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?

Probably the queen or any royal family member. 

If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

To not be nervous to talk in front of people or public speaking. 

If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?

Where I will be in 10 years from now. 

What is your most treasured secondary school memory?

Year 11 retreat. 

What does friendship mean to you?

Someone you are able to trust. 

Amelia Bell Artwork

The Crossing: Uncle Robert Lowe

Robert William Lowe was raised on the Framlingham Aboriginal Station outside Warrnambool. A talented footballer, he played locally for thirty years and captained the Victorian Aboriginal team.

The Peek Whurrong elder won the Premier’s Award for Victorian Senior of the Year in 2018 for his extensive service to the south west community, a culmination of countless other awards and accolades. 

You’ll see Uncle Robbie regularly performing smoking ceremonies and Welcome to Countries sharing our important Aboriginal culture and heritage.

Winner of the prestigious writing prize - The David Uniapon Award - is The Mish, Robert’s memoir and first foray into writing. Robert began recording his memories in late 1995 with the hope that he could convey to his grandchildren what it was like to grow up on Framlingham mission in the late 40s, 50s and 60s.

Founding Director and past Chairperson of Gunditjmara Aboriginal Co-operative and Won Gundidj ABoriginal Co-operative, Robert remains instrumental in sharing his cultural knowledge across the region, commemorating and acknowledging the rich indigenous history across Victoria.

This is Kulkirta Kilkurtin: A film by Director Will King based on the life of Uncle Robbie Lowe.

The Crossing

Fit4Life Day: Safe Partying with Sonya Karrass

On May 26th our Year 12s will meet the enigmatic Sonya Karrass for an unforgettable session around ‘safe partying.’

10 Years of experience in the Hospitality Industry in some of Melbourne’s largest venues, covering all facets including bar, managing and even time as a ‘crowd controller’, allowed Sonya to collect the stories and information she presents in her “Whole New World” safe partying program.

You can find much more information at https://wholenewworld.com.au/

We’d also like to share some key points from this recent article from Paul Dillon from the Doing Drugs blog http://doingdrugs-darta.blogspot.com/

Vodka: Why has it become the drink of choice for many teens and why should parents be concerned?

Unfortunately, many parents are totally unaware of the popularity of vodka amongst teens until they host a party themselves and start the big 'clean-up' the next morning, only to find empty bottles of the stuff littering their garden or hidden in various nooks and crannies around the place. Parents often don’t really grasp the extent of vodka consumption amongst young people until their child's 18th birthday when suddenly the partygoers' drinking behaviour was out in the open, i.e., they were legally able to drink.

But realistically, it is as far back as Year 10 where we start to see consumption of this product start to become a real issue. Some of the early drinkers who were experimenting in Year 9 have now been messing around with pre-mixed drinks for a while and begin to work out that if they want to get drunk quickly (at a cheaper cost), they need to dump the 'lolly water' and buy a bottle of spirits, with vodka usually being the drink of choice.

So why is it vodka that enjoys this popularity, particularly amongst young women? When talking about this with teens, some of the reasons they have come up with include the following:

• it is regarded as a 'cool' drink (mainly due to the advertising promoting this product and its target audience). Vodka is now marketed to a much younger age group than it was in the past. Where once spirit advertising targeted older men, drinks such as vodka are now closely associated with young women, the youth nightlife scene and partying
• they believe it to be free of calories (completely untrue). Like most alcohol, vodka does not contain any fat – but it does have calories, with a 'shot' of vodka containing just under 100. A bottle of vodka has approximately 2200 calories – more than a woman's total allowance per day, not including the mixer!
• it is undetectable (where they get this idea is beyond me - have they ever smelt a vodka drinker's breath?). It is true that the taste of many vodka brands can be more easily masked by mixers, such as orange juice, than other spirits but it certainly does have a smell and can be easily detected on a young person's breath
• it is less likely to cause a hangover (unfortunately, true to some extent!). One cause of a hangover is believed to be the presence of 'congeners' (chemicals produced during the fermentation process). As a general rule of thumb, the darker the alcohol, the more congeners present, i.e., the darker the alcohol, the greater the headache the next day. Of course, over consumption of any alcohol product is likely to lead to feeling unwell the morning after but vodka has far less congeners than most other alcoholic drinks resulting in a lower risk of a hangover

When I talk about vodka to a group of Year 10s and tell them that if they share a bottle between three of them they are drinking the equivalent of 22 glasses of beer you can literally see jaws dropping to the ground! They have no idea how much alcohol they are actually consuming when they down a bottle of spirits. Sadly, for some of those who are drinking in Year 10, particularly the girls, their lives revolve around a vodka bottle on a Saturday night. Three or four young women can drink a bottle of vodka in about 90 minutes and still be walking and talking (remember they don't experience the 'depressant' effects of alcohol like adults with fully-developed brains). When the depressant effect does 'kick-in', it can result in a frightening night for all concerned and often a trip to hospital in an ambulance. Many young people simply have no idea what they are doing to themselves when they consume these products and the risks involved with drinking large quantities when they are so young!

Interestingly, by Year 11 the 'hardcore' male drinkers have usually moved away from vodka. It doesn't take them very long to progress to dark spirits, with bourbon, whiskey and rum being the more likely drinks consumed by this age group. It's important to note that spirits, such as vodka, aren't necessarily any more harmful than any other form of alcohol if you follow basic guidelines (i.e., you consider the number of 'standard drinks' you are consuming), however, when you're young you tend to be unaware of the following risks:

• spirits or premixed spirits enable you to drink more alcohol, much more quickly when compared to other drinks. As already stated, if a group of young people share a bottle of spirits between them in a session they are drinking the equivalent of up to 22 glasses of full strength beer, 22 cans of mid-strength beer, more than 2 litres of a cask of red wine, or more than three bottles of champagne. For many young people, if they tried to drink this amount of wine or beer they would find it difficult to do so quickly - unlike spirits they are 'self-limiting' to some extent, i.e., you drink, you bloat, you vomit!
• due to the high alcohol content, it takes a comparatively small amount of spirits to cause alcohol poisoning or overdose. It is important to remember that it takes much less vodka, rum or whisky to get drunk than beer or wine. It would only take minutes to drink two shots of vodka (60mls), whereas for most people it would take much longer to drink beer containing the equivalent amount of alcohol (two 285ml glasses – 570mls), thus greatly increasing the risk of poisoning or overdose

Recent Australian studies have found that the risk of young people being admitted to hospital with alcohol-related liver disease has risen more than tenfold over a five-year period. The most worrying increase in alcoholic cirrhosis has occurred in those aged 20 to 29, the majority of who would have begun drinking in their early teens. Researchers have suggested that this increase could be due to the increase in the consumption of products with high alcohol content, such as spirits. Young women, in particular, could potentially be at greater risk due to their livers developing at a later age.

It can be so depressing sometimes speaking to a Year 10 group and see those two or three small groups of 'party people' in the room who are so obviously messing around with vodka on a weekly basis. They are usually totally unaware of how much they are actually drinking when they share a bottle of spirits and often don't feel any significant after effects the morning after. Sadly, when things do wrong with vodka (or any other spirit), they go terribly wrong. Drinking a bottle of vodka (or bourbon or any other spirit) is potentially life threatening, whether you're a teenager or an adult. The speed and ease of drinking spirits increases the risk of a range of acute problems including alcohol poisoning or overdose and, potentially, long-term health problems including liver damage.

To assist parents, please watch this video from Drink Wise:

Fit4Life Day: Paul Watkins, the Rogue Scholar

On May 26th, our Year 11s spent an incredible Fit4Life session with the incredibly inspiring Rogue Scholar, Paul Watkins.

“...In 1995 I left university with $8 in my bank account and a sky blue Holden Gemini with beige upholstery. A little over a decade later I found myself hitching a ride on a reconditioned Russian military Ilyushin cargo plane out of Argentina on my way to the heart of Antarctica. I was an unemployed, self-confessed nerd suffering from a serious case of 'imposter syndrome' as I embarked on an unsupported polar expedition to climb the highest peak on the Antarctic continent. 

It's times like this you think - How the hell did I end up here?..”

Intrigued? Find out more at his website https://www.roguescholar.com.au/  or via his book https://www.roguescholar.com.au/store/lost-amp-found-why-we-need-adventure

The other side of that ‘blah feeling’ is flourishing. Here’s how to get there.

In our last edition we shared an article about languishing. Today we’re happy to share the opposite perspective - flourishing.

With vaccination rates on the rise, hope is in the air. But after a year of trauma, isolation and grief, how long will it take before life finally — finally — feels good?

Post-pandemic, the answer to that question may be in your own hands. A growing body of research shows that there are simple steps you can take to recharge your emotional batteries and spark a sense of fulfillment, purpose and happiness. The psychology community calls this lofty combination of physical, mental and emotional fitness “flourishing.” It is the exact opposite of languishing, that sense of stagnation Adam Grant wrote about recently for The New York Times.

“Flourishing really is what people are ultimately after,” said Tyler J. VanderWeele, an epidemiology and biostatistics professor and director of Harvard’s Human Flourishing Program. “It’s living the good life. We usually think about flourishing as living in a state in which all aspects of a person’s life are good — it’s really an all-encompassing notion.”

The good news is that the scientific evidence related to flourishing is robust, and numerous studies show simple activities can lead to marked improvement in overall well-being. Here are some practical activities, backed by science, that can help you get started.

Assess yourself

First, how do you know if you’re languishing, flourishing or somewhere in between? Simply asking yourself is an effective diagnostic tool, said Laurie Santos, a psychology professor at Yale who teaches a free 10-week course called The Science of Well-Being. Do you wake up ready to start your day or would you rather go back to sleep? Do you have a sense of purpose or do you find how you spend much of your day to be meaningless? “You are kind of the expert on your own sense of flourishing,” she said.

VanderWeele uses a 10-question assessment in his program at Harvard. Participants rate five areas of their lives on a scale of 1-10, with questions focusing on happiness and life satisfaction, physical and mental health, meaning and purpose, character and virtue and close social relationships. Just taking the quiz and reflecting on the questions it asks can put you on a path to making positive changes, VanderWeele said.

Savour and celebrate small things

After a year of Zoom birthday parties and virtual graduations, many of us want to revel in gathering together again. Celebrations help to create and cement relationships. “It’s really important that post-pandemic we embrace more and more celebrating,” VanderWeele said.

But it’s not just the big occasions that should be marked. Acknowledging small moments is also important for wellbeing, research shows. Psychologists call it “savouring.” Savouring is about appreciating an event or activity in the moment, sharing tiny victories and noticing the good things around you.

Try “Sunday dinner gratitude”

Some people expressed gratitude more during the pandemic, whether it was clapping for health care workers or thanking a grocery checkout person. But creating a weekly gratitude ritual can cement the habit. Numerous studies show that taking time to reflect on what we’re grateful for improves our quality of life.

In a 2003 study, researchers instructed college students to list, once a week, five things they were grateful for, both big and small. (Some wrote that they were grateful for waking up that morning; one included gratitude for the Rolling Stones.) Compared to a control group, the students assigned to the gratitude intervention for 10 weeks had better feelings about life as a whole and fewer physical complaints.

A gratitude practice should not be a burden. Try to stack a new gratitude habit on a weekly ritual — like Sunday dinner with family, taking out the trash or your weekly grocery run.

Do five good deeds

Acts of kindness not only help others, they also can help you flourish. Research shows that performing five acts of kindness in a single day, once a week, can have a powerful effect. A 2004 study showed that when university students spent a day doing five acts of kindness — like donating blood, helping a friend with a paper or writing a thank-you note to a former professor — they experienced more significant increases in well-being than those who spread out five kind things over the course of a week.

Volunteer work can also improve well-being. VanderWeele and other researchers looked at data from a cohort of nearly 13,000 older adults and found that participants who volunteered at least two hours a week during the study period experienced higher levels of happiness, optimism and purpose in life, compared to those who did not volunteer at all.

To make it easy, Grant recommends starting off with a daily “five-minute favour,” like introducing two people who could benefit from knowing each other, or sending an article or podcast link to a friend, saying you were thinking of them.

Look for communities and connection

Even a quick chat with a stranger or a momentary bond with someone new can foster a sense of fulfillment, particularly when what researchers call a high quality connection occurs. “They don’t have to be lasting relationships or long interactions,” Grant said. “Sometimes people feel an extra spring in their step when they talk to a stranger on a plane or a bus, or when somebody greets them at a restaurant.”

Moments of being seen by other people, and being met with respect or even enthusiasm, can energise and invigorate us and help create bonds within our neighbourhood or community.

As you emerge from pandemic life, try to reconnect with a community you’ve missed. It might be going back to church or choir practice, a running group or yoga class or even just hanging out at your local coffee shop. And don’t be afraid to chat with a stranger, reconnect with your barista or strike up a conversation at the dog park.

Find purpose in everyday routines.

What things do you look forward to each day? What gives your life meaning? Research has found that flourishing comes from daily routines, like working on a new skill or reaching out to thank the people you value in your life, and small moments of mastery, connection and meaning.

To make the most of your snippets of downtime, start with a pause

While work doesn’t have to be the main driver behind your sense of purpose, studies show that reframing how you think about your job can improve your sense of satisfaction. Deepening relationships with co-workers and reminding yourself how your job contributes to a greater good can change how you think about work. If you’re an insurance agent, for example, perceiving your job as a means of helping people get back on their feet after an accident, rather than focusing on a rote task like processing claims, can make your work more fulfilling.

“People think that in order to flourish, they need to do whatever their version of winning the Olympics is, or climbing a mountain, or having some epic experience,” Grant said.

If you’re feeling down, choose a small project. It could be as simple as cleaning the kitchen or doing yard work, or even washing your pillowcases. Maybe you set a 10-minute timer and go for a short jog, or try a one-minute meditation. Completing a simple, impactful task can build toward a sense of accomplishment.

Try something new.

“Many of us think we need to change our circumstances, get a job where we earn tons more money, or switch our relationships, buy something new,” said Santos. “But what the research really shows is that flourishing comes from a different set of behaviours and habits.”

Yes, trauma can be your springboard to greater happiness

And now that life is getting back closer to normal, there are more opportunities to branch out. You can join a book club or running group, take a pottery class, visit a museum or outdoor art exhibit, try a new recipe, explore a nearby trail or neighbourhood or test out a free language learning app like Duolingo.

Most important for overall well-being, Keyes said, is being interested in life; a sense of satisfaction or happiness tends to follow that. The pandemic has challenged us because we haven’t been able to pursue many of our previous interests, he said. “The first key to feeling good about life is to seek out new interests,” he said.

Grant also said learning a skill and then teaching it to someone, or taking on passion projects as hobbies, can lead to fulfillment. The end of the pandemic offers a new opportunity to reflect, he said, and to ask a new question: “How do I want to spend my time?”

By Dani Blum, The New York Times

Screen Time: Making Healthy Choices

Unfortunately, we hear far too many stories about when social media use goes wrong for our young people, and often, when it goes wrong, it can often go horribly wrong.

Today we begin with some esafety tips for parents and then we sadly share an article about a 10 year old boy who was groomed through SnapChat.

Sadly, there are very few places online that our children are not vulnerable and it’s up to us as adults to protect our children the best way we can, which often means not being very popular!

Here are some links to access more resources:

https://www.esafety.gov.au/parents

Online safety basics

Help your children safely navigate their digital world and educate them to avoid harmful online experiences. Explore websites, games, apps and social media together and set some rules. 

Your support and guidance can give your children the confidence to make sound decisions online ― and ask for help when they need it. 

Three key strategies:

1. Be engaged, open and supportive

• Get involved. Share online time with your children as part of family life. Play games together. Talk about favourite apps, games or websites.
• Keep lines of communication open. Ask about their online experiences, who they are talking to and whether they are having any issues.
• Reassure your child they can always come to you, no matter what. Let them know you will not cut off internet access if they report feeling uncomfortable or unsafe when online ― this is a real concern that may stop your child from communicating with you openly.
• If you notice a change in behaviour or mood, talk to your child about it. If you are concerned, consider seeking professional help ― from your GP, a psychologist or school counsellor.
  

• Set age-appropriate rules for devices and online access, with consequences for breaking them.
• Ensure your child’s input — this will help them understand risks. As they get older you can review your rules together. 
  
• The consequences for breaking the rules should be clear. Negotiate these with your child when you create your agreement so they mean something to them — Raising Children Network has some useful tips and advice.
• Consider making some ‘rules for parents’ too — and stick to them! Model behaviour that you would like to see.
  

• Get to know the devices you and your children use and set them up for privacy and online safety. Take advantage of parental controls to monitor and control screen time and access to content in ways appropriate to your child’s age and experience. See our guide to taming the technology.
• Choose apps and games carefully, taking age ratings and consumer advice into account. Check the App Store or Google Play, and for games, the Australian Classification Board’s online database. NetAware (UK) has a comprehensive guide to popular social media apps and games. The Australian Council on Children and the Media and Common Sense Media (US) both offer information about apps, games and websites searchable by age.

Young people 13-17

Teenagers can spend a lot of time online — instant messaging, sharing photos and videos, playing online games and using online chat and voice chat through social media services can be a big part of their social identity. 

It can be a great experience but there are risks. You can help equip them with the skills to manage these risks and deal with negative situations.

For teenagers, it is important to

• Keep things open. Have an ‘open door’ policy when devices are used in bedrooms, and check in with them regularly to see what they are viewing.
• Stay engaged. Ask about their online experiences, who they are talking to online and whether they are having any issues.
• Reinforce the importance of protecting their personal information and privacy. Remind them to create screen names or IDs that do not indicate gender, age, name or location and are not sexually suggestive. 
• Equip them to use social media responsibly. 
• Explain that linking social media accounts can make it easier for strangers to learn about them, so it is best to keep accounts separate. 
• Encourage them to think before they post. They should ask questions like: Who might see this? Could it be misread by others? Am I creating the right image for myself socially and for school and work opportunities?
• Remind them that they could expose themselves to risk by sharing sexually suggestive or intimate images of themselves or others. Check out our advice on sending nudes and sexting.
• Keep building self-respect, empathy and resilience. In particular, be aware of the impact of social media on self-esteem. See good habits start young.
• Help them understand online risks and what to do about them by exploring the young people section of this site.

Technology tips for parents of teenagers

• Use parental controls appropriately for the age and experience of your child — see taming the technology. 
• As they grow more independent and resilient, good open communication becomes more important than blocking or filtering content — realistically your teenager will become increasingly adept at getting around such parental controls anyway.
• Check out Raising Children Network’s Healthy screen time and quality media choices: teenagers.

Aged 10, he was found on Fortnite and groomed on Snapchat, and he’s not alone by Wendy Tuohy

At the age of 10, Lucy’s son was not on any social media. It was only when his young peers were messaging each other on the app Snapchat at his birthday party last October that his mother agreed he could download it – “reluctantly”.

“I don’t use Snapchat and don’t know much about the platform, so I said he could use it under my supervision,” says Lucy, who lives in regional eastern Victoria.

As someone who works in education and had attended a cyber safety for parents talk only six months prior, she felt she had a handle on managing safe use of devices with kids.

“I have always known the [child safety] risks of Facebook and Instagram, but not necessarily Snapchat. That’s why I allowed him to have those apps. I have to say I did know the risks of him being on Fortnite – but I didn’t realise the risks were so imminent.”

One night after Lucy had removed her son’s iPad as per the family routine each evening, she heard him talking to someone.

“This guy he had met on Fortnite [and who asked to be added as a friend on his Xbox account] had instructed him to go and find his iPad and take it back,” said Lucy, who cannot be identified due to laws around naming child sex abuse victims.

“I snatched the iPad out of his hands and scrolled through; some previous Snaps had been deleted [the app defaults to delete after a short time] but the guy was still sending pictures when I had it in my hands, genital pictures, of him ejaculating and things – to a 10-year-old boy.”

Police discovered the boy had been added to six other accounts by the perpetrator, which suggested to the family that more than one person was involved in trying to groom him. Her son has experienced depression and is receiving counselling from the local office of the Centres Against Sexual Assault.

At the time the grooming moved to image-sending on Snapchat, he had had an account on the platform for four days.

Research to be released on Monday by the University of New South Wales associate professor of criminology, Michael Salter, and Dr Tim Wong of the Gendered Violence Research Network, will reveal this scenario is far from unusual as online predators ramp up and diversify their activity since children have become accustomed to spending far more time online in the pandemic.

Reports of blackmail, extortion and threats to children to coerce them into generating sexual abuse images and live-streaming of sexual acts, often done at home and sometimes with parents audible in adjacent rooms, have all increased, which is consistent with advice from Australia’s office of eSafety and reports from safety consultants.

eSafety Commissioner Julie Inman Grant says there has been a 90 per cent increase in reports of online child sex abuse to her office since the pandemic started, and “something like 14,000 cases have been investigated that had to do with child sexual abuse material, the highest number ever; and we’re on track for breaking that record”.

Four variants of a child “sextortion” scheme circulating after Australian lockdowns began just before Easter 2020 caused a 600 per cent increase in reporting rates.

Associate Professor Salter says the research, from surveys and interviews with investigators from police and government agencies and through their own observation of offender behaviour on the dark web, found perpetrators had begun to share strategies and collaborate to get children onto abuse sites.

“There was a process of skilling-up through the abuse community,” he said. “There are competitions among online offenders competing for the best new webcam material; they have really intensified their reliance on online strategies.”

Investigators and police reported rates of adults pretending to be minors for a sexual purpose, threatening or blackmailing minors and trying to meet minors offline for sexual activity had all increased significantly.

“Administrators on dark websites were celebrating the fact traffic on the sites was doubling and offenders started to share strategies about how to get kids online and particularly to live streaming platforms,” said Associate Professor Salter.

“There was a real focus on luring kids onto live streaming platforms and then tricking them into doing sexual acts and recording sexual acts.

“Kids of six, seven or eight are clicking on a link that can take them straight to a live-streaming site if they’ve got a webcam on the device.”

Laura, a mother of two young children and also a foster carer, also saw in late 2020 how efficiently and devastatingly online predators can affect children.

Late last year she, her husband and children aged four and one had an adolescent girl living with them who had at her previous home been allowed “unlimited, unfiltered access to the internet”.

“She asked me if she could use a platform called Discord which was how she kept in touch with her friends. She was allowed to use that while sitting next to me on the couch, and that was how I noticed something strange going on,” said Laura, a teacher who lives in Melbourne’s eastern suburbs and also cannot be identified due to the age of the victim.

After the girl was communicating with someone online with poor written English, who then called her with a well-spoken American accent, Laura and her husband realised multiple people were using the account.

It led her to investigate the girl’s activity online and discover that while living elsewhere she had been approached by a “12-year-old Russian girl” who began by asking her “if I send a picture of my naked self, could you send me one of yours because I like to compare Australian and Russian bodies”.

“The young girl had sent everything she had requested,” said Laura, “and what they had disclosed [in terms of nude material and information] was nothing compared to what the young girl in our care disclosed.”

The girl ended up experiencing significant trauma due to the videos and photos she had shared, says Laura, “because of what happened on the internet and having been violated online”.

It was the second experience Laura’s family had had with a young person who had been preyed upon by child abusers online, and has caused Laura to enforce extremely strict controls on her children’s access to any internet-connected device, something she believes many more parents should consider.

“We thought we were pretty good but we realised after her experience that we need a device-free house. We don’t use devices around the kids except to take phone calls, we do emails after the kids have gone to bed and all the internet capabilities of the TV are turned off except Netflix and that is set to kids’ channels,” said Laura.

”My four-year-old has never touched a device in his life, nor has my one-year-old, and my advice is to maintain a device-free house as long as you can. Then, it should never be allowed where the screen can’t also be viewed from behind [the user],” she said.

Cyber safety expert and 27-year veteran of Victoria Police Susan McLean said she has experienced “a huge increase across the board in young people being groomed online”.

“It’s been that perfect storm where kids have been online more trying to make connections, parents have taken their foot off the pedal because it’s hard trying to work from home [with children there] and predators are also working from home or have lost their job and could groom kids during work hours,” she said.

“[Predators] are not sitting in the office, so they have the opportunity to connect with large numbers of children then, and then you add in children using apps clearly not suitable for them and parents being oblivious to what’s going on.”

She warned parents that they must understand that the web is “first and foremost a 100 per cent adult world”.

“You are putting your little child into an adult world where their safety is going to come down to your ability to be an active participant in that world, you can’t hope for the best no matter how tech-savvy your child is. Their brain development is not aligned to that and they’re going to be an easy target.”

The eSafety commissioner says the University of New South Wales research aligned with what investigators at the Office of eSafety are seeing: “This is one of the first pieces of research in which I’ve heard other law enforcement agencies and hotline investigators saying ‘we’re looking at this proliferation of preventable abuse, particularly self-produced content [in which children are tricked or coerced into filming or streaming sexual acts on themselves or a sibling]’.”

Former Microsoft and Twitter executive Ms Inman Grant says platforms were not doing enough to prevent “dark patterns” of online child sexual offending, to curb the use of fake or imposter accounts or to introduce safety-by-design prevention features.

“There’s a feeling of helplessness setting in across the community, kids are at risk and being targeted by predators, they know how to find kids at risk, to ingratiate themselves, build trust over time.

“What we keep seeing with capping [capturing] of self-produced content is that it starts slowly, it’s a courtship, they’ll ask for a little sexy Skype or topless shot and then it escalates,” said Ms Inman Grant.

“This is where you get sextortion, which is incredibly damaging. Once kids get into that spiral [of sending images or footage and being threatened if they do not send more the material will be released] the worse it gets, the less likely they are to want to talk to parents.”

Criminologist and researcher Michael Salter agrees lack of safety built into platforms means grooming can also happen quickly.

“We used to talk about grooming as quite a long-term strategy, offenders spending a long time building up a relationship. But we’re finding that can happen really quickly online, really in a matter of minutes.

“All the offender needs is to get [the child] to take the device into a bathroom or bedroom and within five minutes if they’ve been able to solicit sexual activity online that’s what they’re looking for. They may never get back to that child or they may use that material to blackmail the child.”

He criticised platforms for being focused on enlisting engagement but providing little to no protection for children and said police and hotline workers all noted “how unsafe the designs of these platforms are”.

“These online social media platforms and online streaming platforms have not been designed with any guard rails in place; they can be anonymous, they may be encrypted but there are no identity or age obligations, no legal obligation visited upon these platforms to ensure there is no predictable risk of harm to children.

“It’s extraordinary when you think about regulations for the toy industry, for example. We expect toy manufacturers to produce toys children are not going to choke on, but we haven’t put those guard rails in place on the online environment.”

Both mothers who saw first hand how easily predators can find children said they wanted other parents to be more aware of it, and to tighten control of what kids do online.

“A friend said to me, ‘We’ve got a four-year-old and I can’t wait until the kids get iPads next year at school, how cute will the games be and we can watch funny YouTubes together etc’, and I told her what happened to us and started crying in the park,” said Laura.

“She said, ‘I can’t believe I was going to let my daughter go on an iPad without supervision’. It’s a real problem that people don’t really know enough.”

If you or anyone you know needs support call Kidshelpline 1800 55 1800, Lifeline 131 114, or Beyond Blue 1300 224 636. eSafety support can be found here.

My Beautiful Stutter Screening

On Tuesday June 15^th, between 7-9pm, the Fit4Life Wellbeing team are hosting a special screening of documentary, My Beautiful Stutter, on The Stage.

Emmy award winning film editor, Steven Sander, and writer and editor of My Beautiful Stutter has generously offered a to screen his film and join us for a Q&A session following the screening at no charge. You will not want to miss this.

This is a documentary film about what it means to feel different, the importance of tolerance and understanding, and most importantly acceptance and kindness. There’s a message in it for all of us.

What Parents Need to Know

Parents need to know that My Beautiful Stutter is an excellent documentary that shows the challenges faced by kids with stutters and demonstrates how they can thrive. It can be intense: There are several stories that make mention of bullying, self-harm and suicide. None violence is depicted on screen, but the stories are real and affecting and may be upsetting for younger/more sensitive viewers. There's also a bit of mild language.

We're so thrilled to bring you this incredibly moving documentary that will surely start many conversations within your family. It is totally worth a watch. Just know where you and your child are at before you watch it together.

Places are limited, so please secure yours through Operoo or email tvanrooy@emmanuel.vic.edu.au and please let us how many seats you need. They're already almost fully booked out.

We can’t wait to see you there.

Diversity & Inclusion Day

On May 17th, Emmanuel College embraced Diversity & Inclusion, on IDAHOBIT Day. We flew the Progressive Pride flag and dressed up in colourful socks and ties to represent the rich tapestry of our Emmanuel College Community.

Here are but a few photos from the day:

Diversity & Inclusion Day

Fit4Life, Wellbeing @ Emmanuel College

Your 2021 Fit4Life Wellbeing Team are, from left to right, Jodie Fleming (School Psychologist), Rachele Sloane (Wellbeing coordinator), Claire Wrigley (Assistant Principal Students Wellbeing), Tracey van Rooy (Student Wellbeing Intake Officer). You can look forward to meeting us all through the Conversations on the Couch in coming editions, or, in person anytime!

We have moved but we are still located on McAuley campus. You’ll now find us upstairs in the Convent, at the end of the Year 7 corridor, directly above the Heritage room.

Can’t follow my instructions? Here are some videos coming from The Stage, the front office, and from the Year 7 corridor. Simply click on the links for a speedy tour.

We also have spaces on Rice and Goold campuses. Teachers, parents and guardians and students are all able to refer students to us. If you'd like to catch up, simply email us at wellbeing@emmanuel.vic.edu.au

Fit Bits

Our weekly Fit Bits links are designed to energise, motivate and encourage us to take brain breaks and mindful moments throughout each day for our minds and our bodies.

Energisers:

Brain Breaks:

Mindful Moments:

Motivational Music:

We hope you’ve found something useful in this edition of Words for Wellbeing.

Our past editions of Words for Wellbeing contain useful reminders about how to cope with the changes that stage three lockdown brings. You’ll find all of our past editions online - just follow this link and enter Words for Wellbeing in the search bar: 

Stay tuned for our next edition of Words for Wellbeing!

In the meantime, if you need to contact Wellbeing, please email us at wellbeing@emmanuel.vic.edu.au to organise a catch up or just to check in or offer us any suggestions or feedback on our Words for Wellbeing.

Stay safe and well everyone.

Love from your Wellbeing Team